I know.
I know...we been gone for MANY minutes. I can't tell you why I stopped posting other than to think -life just got too busy. That's not to say that it's not busy now, but what I've discovered is that I missed blogging. I missed having a place to express myself even if only my mom and mother-in-law were reading it. I missed sharing fun moments that the kids would be able to look back on. I missed laughing at myself as I thought about what I was going to type. I just missed...
So I'm ready to begin again. The intentions are the same with a few additions.
1) I want to share the blog with more people. The things that my family experiences, places we travel, lessons we learn could be of value to someone else.
2) Post more often about the rainy moments in life. Social media is full of pretty things people buy and places they go, but I appreciate people who can express that life isn't always sunny. Therefore, if that's something I value in other people, I should try it myself.
My love for pictures still remains. So here is an update on what we're working with.
Roses. Hoop Earrings. Ponytail. Comfortable Clothes.
(5) - Gymnastics, personality, dance moves
(8) - Baseball, baseball, nerf guns, baseball and learning to clean the bathroom every Friday
They still get along.
Still here for a good time.
Finally, here are the lessons that I learned last week.
Lesson #1 - Mantras Help
After asserting myself at work and making it clear that I didn't agree with the solution that was being presented, this mantra popped in my head.
I Am Brave.
I Am Smart.
I Make Good Decisions.
I found myself repeating this at least 4 times as I walked to check on an event being set up. When I realized what I was doing, I smiled to myself because I really believed it. I was brave for standing up to others (most older than me). I was smart for the solution that I did present. I made a good decision by standing up for what I believed was right. In the end, the others agreed with me. It was the right thing to do. It was the right way to handle the situation so that we wouldn't have to possibly deal with a similar request on a larger scale at another time.
Positive self talk is important and can feel good. Now I guarantee you within the next day or two, I was doubting myself about something else, but in that moment and for a few moments after (because another decision had to be made) that message played in my head.
Find yourself a good mantra. Don't be afraid to smile about it or even say it (even in your head) with some feeling.
Lesson #2 - Self Advocacy
Also this week, I listened to my son finally confess that his teacher is mean. We are entering the third quarter of the school year and this is the first time he has confessed this to me. Now I was aware at the beginning of the year that he felt that way (b/c he told friends), but nothing was mentioned to me. However, through his tears and my refusing to let him walk away even though he didn't want to talk about it...he finally told me. He said that she shows favoritism to the girls over the boys, she yells at the class sometimes, she thinks they are not paying attention when they are, etc. I asked him if he wanted me to talk to her. He said "no." However, towards the end of the conversation he said "I'm going to tell her." My mind said "whoa, whoa, wait a minute big fella," but my mouth said "Ok, if you do that this is how you do it." First, he would have to be respectful. She is an adult and when you want to tell someone something you have to show respect and speak in a respectful tone. Then, he needed to be prepared to share examples of when/how she does this. He has a tendency to start saying something and then back out of the conversation for whatever reason. I told him this wouldn't work. You have to help her understand when she does it. Finally, I presented a baseball analogy to him. If you watch a pitcher strike out 5 of your friends and it's your turn to bat, how do you go to the plate? Go with your game face on. It's clear this pitcher has some skills, so you go to the plate knowing you have to focus and work hard to get a hit. Same with the teacher. If you already know/feel this teacher has mean tendencies, prepare yourself. Get your mind right and stay focused in order to deal with her.
Now I'm not sure if he did it, but the next day I realized that I'm teaching my 8 year old how to advocate for himself. You don't have to hold these feelings in, but what you do have to do is 1) be respectful and 2) be ready to provide examples.
As I continue my work with college students, I am realizing self advocacy is something these students are missing. Yes, I understand coming to college is a lot and not knowing who to go to or feeling weird asking certain questions is real, but A CLOSED MOUTH DOESN'T GET FED. If you want to know...ASK. We have to teach our children to ask. Ask for help. Share their opinion. As long as it starts with those 2 things above. Even if you don't receive the answer you wanted, you could possibly walk away internally chanting a mantra like myself.
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